We call it a family when there is a mother, a father, and kids. Both the parents individually share special bonds with the kids be it sons or daughters. It has been observed that the children who grow up in the presence of their father are both empathetic and confident in life. However, the relationship between a son and a father is very special and complex.
At different stages of life, the relationship between father and son undergoes several changes. In families where the father does not share the interest of the son or vice versa, these changes become more glaring and at times widen the gap so much that a permanent wall starts to exist between them. The major changes which although most feel exists are enumerated below.
Five Different Stages
1. When the son is a child, he idolizes his father. He wants to be exactly like what his father is! He imitates and copies him.
2. As the son reaches teenage differences in choices and opinions emerge. The son no longer wants to be like his father. He finds his childhood belief faulty.
3. Once the son acquires adulthood, the age of competition starts. Both father and son become competitors and the distance between them starts widening.
4. Reaching his mid-thirties, the son starts to realize the reasons behind his father’s acts. He begins to understand his father and friendship evolves between the two.
5. As the son reaches mid 40’s he finds himself to be a mirror image of his father and that bridges all the gaps between them.
There are ways and means to overcome these changes and have a cordial and trustful relationship always. A father needs to nurture the relationship with great love and care. The current generation does not look up to fathers who merely demand respect but they look up to those who are more like a friend and open to sharing everything with them.
Set a good example
Kids especially sons watch how their father interacts with everyone in the family. Whom they respect and whom they disrespect. They are keen observers and learn to behave in the same manner as their fathers. Father’s without realizing influence their sons tremendously.
Spending Time together
Father should put in an effort and spend some quality time with his son. He can spend the time by reading out a book when then the son is small to indulging in a common sports interest or involving in a common hobby.
Converse And Listen
Both father and son should indulge in conversation and listen to each other’s ideas and respect them. The father needs to discuss all issues like peer pressure, social media, investments, sex, and even spirituality with the son. He should also listen attentively to his son’s side of the conversation and do not disregard him.
It is important to recognize the fields of shared interests. If you have no common interests the father should put an effort to build up his interest in the son’s hobbies. They should plan and spend time together in outdoor activities, sports, music, or cooking.
Both should make an endeavor to work together on a common project of robotics, circuits, restructuring, carpentry, etc. It is important for both to learn from each other. Hence father should not hesitate to ask for help from his son.
All the time spent together in conversations, building things, traveling, helps to understand each other better. It helps the child to develop into a confident and upstanding person who is ready to face the world under any circumstances. It benefits the father as he develops a close bond with the child who would then be standing shoulder to shoulder with him in all walks of life giving him a sense of achievement and power.