What is the biggest cause of stress in your life? You would probably be thinking of some big negative event that caused you to stress for a long time. You sow that event inside you and now the stress related to that event is making you feel low and defeated. Then, you are unable to get that out of your mind and it starts developing hypothetical situations around it which further pushes you into the stressful situation.
Reframe your question
I think you need to ask yourself the question again but change the language a bit. Which event do you recall most in your life? You give yourself some time and the answer will shock you. In most cases, the event you think is causing you stress is not the biggest one. You see, those events come and go. If we want to, most of us can forget them. If you are not able to forget them, you can still remember them less and when it comes back to haunt you, diverting your mind and energy is possible. This is so because now you know that the event you think gave you the most stress is not the biggest event in your life.
Stress can be the total of micro-events
Life these days is challenging, competitive, and stressful. For an average person, small everyday events cause much more stress in the long run. The reason is that those events are happening all the time. So you start feeling that those events are connected or there are so much happening one after another that you start feeling them as one.
You at times do things that go against your values. Perhaps, you may argue with someone. It might be that you may have to deal with a change in circumstances whether in your personal or professional life which causes stress. If you identify these events that are happening around you and you are not able to control them, all you need to do is pick up and a pen and a paper.
The solution is already there
You need to make a worksheet to identify the causes of stress and note down the smallest detail. Most people while writing them down themselves start feeling that the event should not have caused stress, so why did you allow to build it inside you. By writing them down, you come to know about the micro-stresses involved in the inside built-up.
Ask yourself the right question
Now that you know that those events are real and they exist, asking the right question to yourself on each event will make you feel that most of the events should not give you stress at all. You will come across obvious methods to avoid stress. Maybe, you are not able to eliminate them all, but you will be able to reduce them to the extent that they no longer take the centre stage in your day. Thus the remaining one becomes easy to handle.
My final call
Remember, the best way to reduce stress is to tell yourself what your goal is! Remove uncertainty and answers will become an automatic process.
Article By : Jitender Harjai Life and Fitness Coach H2F Care